Haute Couture. I Said Haute Couture

I’m delighted to see young Louise Isles break through the glass ceiling and become Britain’s first deaf model. I did not know that deaf people had a hard time doing modelling, but apparently that is the case.

I could understand it if they had no ears, limiting their ability to model spectacles and earrings. Otherwise I’m not entirely sure how impaired-hearing would be a difficulty.

The only thing I can think of is that the bright lights of the catwalks temporarily blind models. They probably employ a man or lady with a megaphone to stand at the end of the catwalk shouting “You’re at the end of the catwalk! Do that thing where you dip your shoulder a bit, do a pout and then walk back.” I can see how that would be a problem for people who are on the Mutt and Jeff side.

But, damn it, is this not the 21st century? Can we really not find a technological solution for this.
Of course we can! And here it is…
A whopping great sign.

Volunteers will sit at the end of the catwalk holding the above signs, in high visibility white on red. When a deaf model reaches the end of the catwalk, they will hold up the signs, allowing her or him to dip her or his shoulder a bit, do a pout and then walk back.

I know what you’re thinking. What about deaf-blind models? In that case, I recommend that they make the end of catwalks bobbly, as they do with road crossings.

Frankly, I don’t know how the fashion industry has bumbled on without me for so long, nor how the number deaf-blind catwalk model fatalities has been so low.

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