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Archive for the ‘Supernanny’ Category

In the first of an occasional series, Graham Bandage talks to Justin Turnbull, the man who writes the narrator’s scripts for Channel 4’s reality lifestyle shows.

Graham Bandage: How do you approach writing a script for, say, The Home Show, or Supernanny?

Justin Turnbull: Well, Graham, later I’ll be telling you how I use a script-writing program … how I drink a cup of coffee … and where I work.

GB: Great. But how do you approach writing a script for, say, The Home Show, or Supernanny?

JT: I get a rough edit of the programme and then I work my way through it. Phew, I need a wee-wee. After my break I’ll tell you how I use a script writing program … how I drink a cup of coffee … and where I work.

INTERVIEW SUSPENDED FOR THREE MINUTES.

GB: OK?

JT: Yep. Before my break, I said this. “I get a rough edit of the programme.” Later, I’ll tell you how I use a script writing program … how I drink a cup of coffee … and where I work.

GB: How do you use a script writing program?

JT: I’ve got one on my computer. I just tap in the words on my keyboard and they appear on my screen.

GB: Yes, but…

JT: Sorry, time for another break. I’m parched, so I’ll be needing a cup of coffee. Later I’ll tell you how I drink a cup of coffee… and where I work.

INTERVIEW SUSPENDED FOR TWO MINUTES.

GB: Look, this is getting…

JT: So before my wee-wee break I said this, “I get a rough edit.” Then before my coffee making break I said, “I just tap in the words on my keyboard.”

GB: Can we get to the coffee?

JT: Of course. I don’t actually drink cups of coffee. I prefer mugs.

GB: Oh, you’d led me to believe you drink cups of coffee.

JT: Yes, the mug thing is a bit of a twist.

GB: Very good.

JT: Yes. I need the toilet again now. When I come back I’ll tell you … where I work.

INTERVIEW SUSPENDED FOR TWO MINUTES.

GB: Please. Just please move on. Don’t tell me what you’ve already…

JT: Before my first wee-wee break, I said this: “Rough edit.” Then before my coffee break, I said: “I just tap…” Then before my second wee-wee break, I said: “I prefer mugs.”

GB: Where do you work? Just tell me, for the love of thingy, where the f**king hell do you work?

JT: Here.

GB: So, what now?

JT: Now you go away. And then you come back to see me in 12 months to see if things have changed for me for the cheapo repeat.

GB: And will they have done?

JT: No. Not in the slightest. Next week you’ll be interviewing conceptual artist Ted Cramp, when he’ll be saying “The Northern Line,” “three sheets to the wind” and “Mum, please don’t.”

GB: Justin Turnbull, thank you.

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