Pro-passive Policing

I am excited by the idea of passive sniffer dogs, which I have read about in today’s Liverpool Echo.

These splendid creatures are employed by the police and rather than barking when they sniff out a bit of the old contraband they merely sit next to the dope fiends. Apparently they’ve been a tremendous success.

That being the case, I wonder if the police would consider employing passive officers. I think they’d be excellent.

“Stop,” they would cry while pursing miscreants, “In the name of the law! That’s if you can be bothered. I mean, it’s no skin off my nose if you want to run away. I’ll just stand here. Don’t worry about me.”

Or perhaps, instead of televised press conferences where they wheel out tearful relatives, they could have a single senior police officer just staring out of the screen ruefully, as the camera slowly zooms in on his face. He could exhale loudly, and halfway through the process say, “I’m not angry. I’m just disappointed, that’s all.”

I think it would definitely work.

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