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Archive for the ‘Subway’ Category

This is getting ridiculous. Regular Bandage readers will be aware of the Subway franchise which opened in my back garden a month or two ago.

I quote from the estimable Liverpool Confidential website

I was frankly astonished to discover this morning that Subway has opened another shop in my back garden. I drew back the curtains this morning and there it was, open for business and selling big breakfast specials. What worries me, however, even more than the sheer numbers of people trampling my lawn in their haste to buy a foot-long Meatball Marinara, is the effect on my kitchen. I don’t think it will be sustainable to run my own gaff if Subway undercuts my toast budget. And even as I type this, a man in Subway green overalls is measuring up the space of the desk next to me in my office, which is currently unoccupied. The buggers are taking over. Soon all of Liverpool’s Tesco, Subway and Costa outlets will have to exist in the same space but on different vibrational planes. You mark my words.

Anyway, this morning I popped in for a Philly Cheese-steak and was perturbed (yes, perturbed. I don’t think that’s too strong a word) to see that a smaller Subway franchise had opened up INSIDE the restaurant.

And through its window, I could see three small men, about the size of Gurkhas, beavering away, with hammers and saws and that, building an even smaller Subway INSIDE that.

The Lord knows what will happen when that’s finished, but I’ll wager it will involve primordial dwarfs building another Subway INSIDE that in some insane Russian doll-style arrangement, only with sandwich bars.

It’s wrong, isn’t it? Damn them. And then beat them. And then damn them again.

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