Archive for the ‘Boris Johnson’ Category

I’m terribly sorry I haven’t updated this blog for a few days, but, in my defence, I have been terribly busy. How busy? I’ll tell you. I’ve been . . .

Busier than a Dewsbury social worker.

Busier than Boris Johnson’s apology speechwriter.

Busier than the bluebird of happiness alighting on Everton supporters this morning.

Busier than the pigeon of woe alighting on Liverpool supporters this morning.

Busier than Teresa in the canteen when Fat Brian’s in work.

Busier than Justin Timberlake as he pops around the world bringing sexy back*.

Busier than the chap in our office who rolls his eyes and says “Cuh! That flipping Myleene Klass is in the blooming paper again” every time Myleene Klass is in the paper.

I shall leave you with a thought. If Liverpool Football Club are serious about winning the Champions League again, they should change their name to “UEFA Champions League FC”, thereby ensuring that their “name is on the cup” every year.

*Surely he must have finished by now. He’s been at it for months.

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I think Boris Johnson should be voted the Mayor of London because he is funny and would be a good laugh.

I don’t know if he would be very good at all the day-to-day stuff like making things work and that, but I’m 100 per cent convinced that he would make a decent fist of shambling along a bit later on to say sorry with his blond hair and sheepish grin.

Also, I don’t think David Cameron would let him do anything on his own. He’d get that tough Australian man to make all the important decisions and leave Boris to do all the bike riding and scrumping and sex. Which I’m sure would suit Boris.

In fact, the only downside to Boris getting the big job is that he wouldn’t be able to do Have I Got News For You so much any more, but maybe that would leave an opening for other guest presenters like Noam Chomsky or Dame Judi Dench or Alan Titchmarsh or one of those.

It’s nothing to do with me because I don’t live in London, but I’m reminded of when I was a student and there was a big campaign to make Reg Holdsworth off of Coronation Street the new chancellor, even though that wasn’t even his real name.

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