Archive for the ‘sordid business’ Category
I’ve been doing a bit of wallpapering in the bedroom. It’s not the most fun I’ve ever had. But it has confirmed the decision I took some time ago not to become a professional painter and decorator.
That said, I’ve come up with some smashing ideas which might make the whole sordid business a bit easier.
1. Perforated rolls of wallpaper. It’s tremendously hard to cut wallpaper in a straight line, especially when it’s a bit soggy owing to the wallpaper paste the manufacturers insist that one splaps on liberally and then leave on for eight minutes.
So perforated wallpaper, just like toilet rolls, would be ace. Sploink it on the wall, give it a bit of a brush and then tear it off at the top and bottom. Of course, this would mean that walls would have to be standard sizes, but that’s not my problem.
2. Velcro wallpaper. Stripping walls is a tremendous mither. So, my idea is a backing paper flocked with Velcro which one would glue to the wall. And then one would buy wallpaper flocked with the corresponding Velcro. Goes up easy, comes down in one. I’m not sure how you recycle Velcro, though. Are there Velcro bins in the car park at Tesco? It must be tricky to empty them.
3. Abolish windows, light switches and corners. I admit this might be one of the trickier things to pull off but I don’t see why we can’t think big.
All these ideas will definitely work.