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Archive for the ‘crushing disappointment’ Category

Over the next couple of weeks I hope to highlight some of the slightly disappointing Christmas decorations I have encountered.

Today’s example comes from the newsroom of the Liverpool Daily Post and Echo.

If you have any examples of your own, please contact me at my Twitter address @GrahamBandage, and I’ll put it up here. The most disappointing will win a prize. An actual prize.

Many thanks.

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I’ve been guilty of a bit of hyperbole. Last year, when this blog was in its salad days, I drew a lovely little cartoon. This one, in fact.


I must admit, it made me chuckle at the time. I might even have hooted. But after I’d patiently filled in all the colours and that I became a bit bored with it.

Then I realised, “No, Bandage! There’s an unspecified number of people out there who might chuckle upon first exposure to this cartoon. It might even enhance your reputation as a tremendous chap.”

So I posted the cartoon. But in a moment of hubris, I suggested “I think this might be the funniest cartoon ever.”

Let’s have another look at it.


See. It’s all right, isn’t it? I doubt you’ve been troubled by rib crackage. You’re probably bored by it already. And I don’t think it would travel particularly well.

But every day there’s a trickle of visitors to this blog who have come, drawn by Google’s promise of “the funniest cartoon ever” and they’re mostly from America. I can only imagine their disappointment. And here I am, imagining it…

EXT. PRAIRIE FARM – DAY

SUN SCORCHES THE VAST FIELD OF CORN. JOE, A LEATHERY-SKINNED FARMER, TENDS THE LAND. IT’S BACK-BREAKING, UNRELENTING WORK.
HE’S SINGING “THE OLD RUGGED CROSS.”

JUNIOR (O.O.V.):
Pa! Pa! Come quick!

JOE:
Land o’ goshen! What is it, son?


JUNIOR:
Pa! I’ve found it! Come quick!

JOE DROPS HIS TOOLS AND RUNS TO HIS SON.

JOE:
What is it?

JUNIOR:
It’s back at the house.


THEY BEGIN TO RUN. WE SEE THEM FROM ABOVE, ANTS IN A SEA OF GOLD.


INT. FARMHOUSE – DAY
PANTING, JOE AND JUNIOR BURST INTO THE LIVING ROOM. A COMPUTER SITS IN THE CORNER, ITS SCREEN SWITCHED OFF.

JOE:
Is it true, son? Have you found it? Have you found the funniest cartoon ever?

JUNIOR:
Yup, pa.

JOE:
And have you seen it?

JUNIOR:
No, pa. I wanted to see it with you.

JOE AND JUNIOR EMBRACE.

JOE:
You’re the best, son. Now, let’s take a look-see.

THEY WALK TO THE COMPUTER. JUNIOR SWITCHES THE SCREEN ON.

GRAHAM BANDAGE’S LOVELY WORLD APPEARS. IN THE CENTRE OF THE SCREEN IS THE SHEEP CARTOON.

JOE:
You utter tit.

ENDS

I blame myself. And Google. But mostly Google.

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