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Archive for the ‘Local female’ Category

I saw this ad in the Metro.


LOCAL woman wants to meet with like-minded men.

I know what you’re thinking. The first thing you’re thinking is, “What sort of man is she looking for, because, on the surface, she isn’t giving us many clues?”

And the second thing you’re thinking is, “How can I apply the rules of algebra to solve this question?”

Well, let’s take “like-minded men” to be the unknown, x, if you will. Then there must be enough information in the term “local woman” to help one work out what sort of mind she has.

Let’s start with the woman part. Now, what distinguishes a woman from a man? She has a womb. She can give birth. She’s going to find it tricky, at best, to find a man similarly equipped.

But wait! It says “like-minded,” not “like-bodied.” If one works back from the physical difference and examines how that affects the female psyche we see that women have an attraction to men for the purposes of copulation.

Could there be men who are attracted to other men for these purposes? I believe such men exist, but we’ll come back to this.

So, this woman has a limited number of words in which to describe herself. Does she choose to identify as warm, wise, compassionate, intelligent, or even, dare I say it, sexy?

No. She’s taken a long hard look at herself and decided that what she is, the sine qua non of her being, is local. So proud is she of the city in which she lives she allows her love of it to define herself. I think that’s beautiful.

So, x, we can finally establish, equals a homosexual who is fiercely proud of his Liverpudlian roots.


The answer is Pete Price.

Unless she’s a lesbian.

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